Leading to Goodnight

What did I do

I am just paranoid

this has happened before

is it happening again

why oh why

please tell me Im wrong

tell me when you said

you said I wouldn't lose you that easy

this is to easy

I cant

cant be without you

but likely Ill have to 

what the fuck are you doing

besides making me crazy

or maybe I am crazy and Im making myself crazy

remember it took me months

months because you were busy

then I was

but you were first

Ill see you soon

A day I looked forward to

but now

I dont know

Will I hold you 

and love you

and will it be real

or will my heart break 

and shatter

its the not knowing that hurts the most

I dont want to go home alone

moping and dying 

It doesnt get easy

no matter how many times you go through it

I thought this was the one

but patterns never cease

it seems to be the same

same as her

I hope Im wrong

and then she says goodnight

without much of a word otherwise

I think I may be wrong

but if Im wrong then she is pretty crazy

and I love that